Life is a dance between the familiar and the unknown, between comfort and discomfort. It's in this delicate balance that we find ourselves constantly evolving and pushing boundaries. We teach ourselves to mask feelings, avoid conversations, find temporary fixes, fill voids, amongst other tactics because they are all things that are comfortable. What happens when we decide to be comfortably uncomfortable? Can being uncomfortable become a friend?
It's in some really hard moments of unease lately that I have truly discovered what I've been capable of and uncover hidden depths within myself. Some of the depths are great and others are pure darkness. Embracing the uncomfortable lately has not been easy. A lot of self-doubt, followed by A LOT of positive affirmations. I have found myself peeling away mask after mask of feelings. Figuring out that my rock bottom has a cellar, and guess what? That cellar has a dungeon. Yep, I said it. I admitted it. It is uncomfortable to admit that, but I know I am not alone.
In a world that often values strength, echos of "They are so strong. They have overcome so much.", wearing a mask to hide vulnerability has become almost second nature for many. I am tired of being strong and I am determined to break the stigma that we have to be. WE DON'T HAVE TO BE. We adorn ourselves with the guise of strength, plastering a smile on our faces even when our hearts are heavy. Behind the mask lies a delicate balancing act—maintaining composure while grappling with the turmoil of our innermost emotions.
I have been embracing the uncomfortable and have been diving headfirst into some of the hardest conversations and realizations. I am realizing that some of my coping mechanisms, void fillers, temporary fixes are not healthy. Hiding behind work to keep my mind occupied, mindless scrolling because it's easier than thinking, being "here" but not (best way to explain that is that I feel like a lot of the time I am on the outside of the window looking in), self-isolating and closed off. I give examples only because I want to bring awareness, not that I am looking for sympathy. If these resonate with you, know you are not going through these alone.
"Temporary Fixes- band-aids that address an immediate issue without tackling the underlying cause" We live in a world of quick fix and instant gratification. It's easy to pick up your phone and scroll, grab a drink because it makes you feel good, buy something cool because it gave us a dopamine high, not being honest about feelings because "it's not that big of a deal" you see where I am going with this? I'm learning for myself it is a false sense of security. It's like putting off necessary repairs to a leaky roof until the next rainstorm hits, hoping that the temporary patch will hold. While it may provide a brief calm from the immediate threat, it's only a matter of time before the problem resurfaces, often in a more severe form.
Instead of viewing discomfort as something to be avoided, I am trying to reframe it as an opportunity for growth and learning. Shifting my focus from the temporary discomfort I feel in the moment to the long-term benefits that await me on the other side. I took a HUGE step this week and made myself a therapy appointment. Yep, you read that right. Full transparency, I left therapy 3 years ago because I did not want to do something that was "hard". Wanna know what that hard was? Figuring out how to tell people what I needed from them. Setting expectations. So, instead I closed the book, gave a middle finger, and said nope. I made my appointment this week, because I am done with unhealthy habits and being comfortable. I am going to get healthy in all forms and that starts with mental health. The one thing I advocate for everyone else. I am taking my own advice.
I'm learning to navigate through being uncomfortable with grace and resilience, I have discovered an inner strength that I never knew existed. I am using my big girl voice (this is really hard for me). I am trying to be raw and honest and vulnerable and just all the things because I am tired. Rather than viewing my uncomfortableness as a threat, I am trying see it as an opportunity to test my limits and emerge stronger on the other side.
Being comfortably uncomfortable is about living authentically, embracing all aspects of ourselves, even the messy, uncomfortable ones. It's about leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability and allowing ourselves to be seen, flaws and all. In doing so, we hope to cultivate deeper connections with others and create a safe space for true understanding. Being comfortably uncomfortable is about embracing the journey, with all its twists and turns, ups and downs. It's about letting go of the need for certainty and control and surrendering to the flow of life. Hopefully in doing so, we discover a sense of peace and contentment that transcends the discomfort of the moment.
I challenge you to do one thing that makes you comfortably uncomfortable. How does it make you feel? Can it be YOUR friend?
Be Kind. Give Grace. Spread Love.
Alysia